Why did he do this?
I am a mother, often left not knowing the well-being or the whereabouts of my daughters. My
daughters were made to believe their mother was a terrible person that didn’t love her children,
that I chose something, anything else over them, that I was somehow unfit, abusive and crazy.
Their heads were filled with outright lies about their past, their little minds tasked with rewriting
of their history. Neither my girls nor myself were afforded the opportunity to be present in each
other’s lives for a long and important period of their lives. No matter the intentions, what my ex
husband has done to both his daughters and me is wrong. Why did he do this? He has
exacted his revenge down to the last, because I left him due to years of abuse, because I was
afraid my girls were going to witness the total unraveling of their mother at his will and his
The saddest thing of all, is that when the shoe was on the other foot, so to speak, and I
first left my now ex husband in 2009 (we ended up reconciling), my then attorney recommended
I go for full custody and I flat out refused. I explained I would never do that to my daughters or
him. I saw it as selfish and cruel… no matter his character or actions. Depriving a child of their
parent is unfair and damaging in the extreme. My girls tell me that when they ask him why they
cannot see me more often, or why I cannot do some activity with them, he blames Dr. Drutman,
or the Judge.. but never looks them in the eyes and give them the truth. The truth is he is to
blame for this misery, this great loss. He is the reason they miss their mother. He can never
not win, nor can he take ownership of his actions.